


je le veux

by oopsabird



Category: DCU, Wonder Woman (2017), Wonder Woman - All Media Types
Genre: Diana Prince vs 20th-century homophobia, F/M, Fluff, Get-Together Fic, Grieving, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Intimacy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Movie, Recovery, aka Truth Coming Out Of Her Well To Shame Mankind, cultural misunderstandings (of a sort), non-explicit references to homophobia, sober Charlie, well-intentioned meddling friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 18:50:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13173027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oopsabird/pseuds/oopsabird
Summary: Diana believes in love the same way children believe in fairytales - with optimism and wholehearted conviction.or;Over the course of their mission in Belgium, Diana deduces from watching Sameer and Charlie that they obviously must be a happily married couple. This conclusion would in fact be news to everyone else - including Sameer and Charlie.





	je le veux

**Author's Note:**

> I did it! I wrote another fic! It’s not the fic I was originally writing, or the one I started after that, but here it is! The rest will follow in time, I’m sure. This ended up far longer than I planned and is in some places more character study/analysis than actual plot, but nevertheless, enjoy! I had a ton of fun writing and exploring Diana’s POV for the first time.
> 
> The title, “je le veux”, is the phrase used in French-language weddings instead of “I do”. Translated literally, it means “I want it” or “I desire it”, which seemed especially apt in this case.
> 
> obligatory disclaimer: there are some patches of dialogue direct from the film in here; I may have them memorized, but the ownership of that text is Warner Bros’. Also, I am aware that Diana and Sami’s post-Veld conversation actually happens _after_ the photograph, but I forgot that when I wrote this and I can’t be arsed to change it. fanfic gonna fanfic ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> eternal shoutout to the ever-patient elri, proof-reader and confidant supreme

        Despite what the people of earth always seemed to first assume, Diana was not naive when it came to matters of love and sexuality. As she had told Steve Trevor, she had read all twelve volumes of Clio’s Treatises - but she knew more than that as well.

        Amazons were not heartless beings - just as they might couple together for the sake of bodily pleasure, many also did so for the sake of love. While Themiscyra did not have an institution of marriage in the same way as man’s world, a number of Amazons over the years had chosen to swear devotion to a partner (or two) for life; living side by side, and taking no other lovers.

        Growing up amongst her people, Diana knew what such love looked like - she saw it in her aunt Antiope with her partner Menalippe, between members of her mother’s royal guard, warriors, traders in the market. The customs of love on the island were a little different than some she had seen in humans - for example, Amazons were not particularly fond of hand holding in public. Still, they loved with affection, and with sincere devotion to each other.

        Diana had lived her whole life in a world where lovers worked, trained, and fought side-by-side, equals in every way; supporting and helping each other. This was how she conceived of love - a partnership, a shared respect, and a life spent caring for one another. It was this perception which she took with her when she left the island, and went off into the world of man.

* * *

        The first time Diana really took notice of it was in the village of Veld, in the aftermath of the battle.

        She had seen how Charlie had frozen up in the middle of the firefight, unable to make the crucial shot at the church, and was uncertain what to make of it. In all her years on Themiscyra, she had never seen anything like it. Watching him stagger away, she turned to Sameer in search of answers.

        “All his talk of shooting,” she said, “and yet he cannot shoot.”

        Sameer turned to look at his friend, who was leaning against a lamppost to catch his breath, and sighed.

        “Ah. Not everyone gets to be what they want to be all the time. Me? I am an actor. I love acting. I didn’t want to be a soldier.” he shrugged, “But, I am the wrong colour. Everyone is fighting their own battles, Diana; just as you are fighting yours.” he looked over his shoulder at Charlie once more, sympathy in his eyes. After a moment’s consideration, Sameer turned and began making his way over to him.

        Diana wanted to ask more questions; about what his acting career had to do with the colour of his skin, if he meant what she suspected he did by that. However, she understood that now was not the right time, and simply watched him go.

        Sameer called out to Charlie as he approached, clearly trying to ensure he wouldn’t startle him. Arriving at his side, he put a gentle arm around Charlie’s back and leaned in close to speak in hushed tones, too quiet for even Diana to hear. Charlie nodded, still staring absently into space, and allowed himself to be guided away from the crowds and made to sit down on a low piece of rubble.

        Sameer removed his hat and crouched down in front of Charlie so as to look up at him, one hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. He spoke again, still inaudible, but whatever he said this time caused Charlie to crack a weak smile. Sami grinned, reaching out to grab Charlie’s hand and give it a quick encouraging squeeze. Just then, Chief called out to them, announcing he had found a man who wanted to take their photograph; and just like that, the moment was over.

        After the photo, they made contact with Etta in London and did their best to help the people of Veld clean up some of their town. Diana noticed now how Sameer stayed close by Charlie’s side as they worked; keeping watch and coaxing smiles from him one by one, until by the time the work ended and the celebrations began, Charlie’s mood had significantly improved.

        To the unspoken surprise of his friends, Charlie refused any offers of alcoholic drink throughout the day and into the evening. As he slowly sobered up, Diana could see him becoming a different man - perhaps more like the man he might once have been. He stood taller, steadier, and smiled more; when he laughed, there was less bitterness in it. He could still be coarse and loud at times, but she found there was also a more sheepish, sweeter side that showed through on occasion. Diana knew he couldn’t necessarily help what he’d been like when he drank, but she privately decided she liked this new Charlie much better.

        That evening, he sat down at the piano to play and sing, for what Steve said was the first time in years. It was then Diana realized she must be witnessing a kind of turning point in Charlie’s life - a change for the better. She couldn’t help but wonder if she had played some role it bringing it about.

        Later, as she and Steve departed the square for a more private venue, she happened to glance inside the café. Charlie and Sameer were in a booth on the far wall, sitting across from Chief. Sameer seemed to be telling some sort of story with elaborate hand gestures and dramatic re-enactments; Chief and Charlie were both laughing along. Charlie’s arm was slung across the back of the seat behind Sameer, and he looked the happiest she had ever seen him so far.

        In the morning Charlie’s sheepish side showed through again, as he tried to suggest that perhaps he shouldn’t come along, for the good of the mission. Diana knew she could not allow it; despite a rough first impression, Charlie had grown on her just as much as the rest of their rag-tag little team, and she would not see him left behind.

        “No, Charlie,” she said, smiling at him, “who will sing for us?”

        “Sing?” he said, a surprised and excited expression dawning across his face. Drawing a deep breath, he stepped forward and began a cheerful serenade.

        Diana laughed along to his delight, satisfied when he joined them in departure without further argument. Steve and Sameer both made mock protest at Charlie’s singing, but she could see the truth on their faces - they were happy to see him in good spirits, and glad he had chosen to stay.

        Thus they travelled the road to High Command, chatting and conversing along the way. Diana observed that Sameer made an effort to tell jokes which made Charlie in particular crack up - he seemed to take special enjoyment in getting him to laugh. It was clear to her by now that the two of them must be the best of friends, and it warmed her heart to see such joyful, caring companionship between two warriors, in this harsh and confusing world of men.

        Then came the gala.

        Then came the airfield.

        Then came the sudden and unforgiving change of everything she thought she knew about the world, about herself and her place in it. The loss of Steve, and thus of all the new dreams that had sprung to life in her mind because of him - it was a pain like she had never known, a vicious knife to her heart.

        Then: the choice to believe in love, to make it burn within her, even in the face of an overwhelming desire to let the hatred and anger swallow her up like the sea. Fighting a god. Killing a god - her own brother; something she had never had before and now never would again.

        When Diana was living through that night it felt as if it must be the end of everything, like the flames of the apocalypse had come to burn this world to the ground; in the morning, she stood in the grey light of a new day, and knew it was really only the end of her journey’s beginning. The world was going to continue on, and so would she.

        As the dust settled and the sun rose, Diana watched from a distance as Sameer rushed to pull Charlie from the wreckage, hauling him to his feet. The two of them checked each other over for injuries with careful hands, each reassuring himself that the other was okay. Words were exchanged between them which she couldn’t hear, and then Charlie abruptly pulled Sameer into a tight embrace, cradling his head against his shoulder as Sameer clung to the fabric of his coat. Though her own heart was aching, Diana smiled at the sight.

        When Chief, staggering to his feet beside her, saw that his friends had survived, he called out to them in excitement, waving and jumping for joy. They stepped apart from the embrace to wave and shout back to him, smiling. Diana noticed that Charlie kept his arm around Sameer’s shoulders, and Sameer still had one arm about Charlie’s waist. When she and Chief reached them, both men ran forward to joyfully embrace their friend - but afterwards, it was to that position they returned, the two of them linked together side by side.

        Something about it all, the way they behaved with each other as opposed to with everyone else, was ringing a bell somewhere in Diana’s mind. However, she felt simply too wrung-out and tired to sort it out now; instead she chose to set the thought aside, tucked away with her grief until she had time to process it all.

        “So.... what now?” Charlie said, voicing the thought in everyone’s mind, as they stood and took in the destruction surrounding them.

        “We are still pretty deep in German territory.” Sameer pointed out.

        “Have no fear, boys.” Chief said with reassurance, clapping him on the shoulder, “I will lead you back home.” Diana wondered if this was a promise, or one of his preternaturally accurate predictions. In any case, she trusted him to lead the way, and she knew Charlie and Sameer did too.

        The horses, unsurprisingly, had long since run off during the battle, and every vehicle at the airfield had been battered and broken to the point of being undriveable. This left but one option - they would be walking out of Germany.

        Chief took them on a path which would steer wide of the former village of Veld, a fact for which everyone was silently grateful. Diana pushed down deep sorrow that sprung up when she even thought about it - she felt sure that if she let her grief in now, it would overwhelm her. None of them spoke of it.

        The way was a mix of curving dirt roads and rougher forest terrain. On the roads Charlie and Sami followed behind Chief, with Diana bringing up the rear - always staying in a single file line, as Chief had an uncanny knack for knowing exactly where the land mines were. In the forest, they picked their way carefully over logs and through ravines, following him in order of whoever could move the quickest.

        As they made their way along throughout the day, there were few words exchanged. Her human companions, Diana supposed, surely felt just as emotionally raw and even more physically exhausted than she did. In the absence of conversation Diana couldn’t help but find herself still watching the interactions between Charlie and Sameer. If nothing else, observing them was a welcome distraction from her own thoughts. There were many moments which especially piqued her notice and her curiosity.

        Once, they were making their way down a steep bank in the woods; Diana and Chief leading the way, Charlie and Sameer trailing a few meters behind. At one point, Charlie stumbled slightly, and the gravel beneath his feet suddenly shifted and gave way. He would’ve gone falling down the hill but for the fact that he flung his arms out sideways in his panic, and finding a handhold on Sameer’s shoulder, clung on tight.

        Sameer’s hands instantly went to Charlie’s waist to steady him, Charlie’s other hand flying up to clutch the front of his coat for support. The two of them skidded to a halt a few feet down the hill, gravel and dust settling, and stood there for a moment as Charlie caught his breath. Diana and Chief watched patiently from below.

        “You good?” Sameer asked quietly, lowering his head to catch Charlie’s eye.

        Charlie nodded, smiling in reassurance, “I’m good, yeah.”

        Satisfied, Sameer straightened up, and offered Charlie his arm to lean upon. They made their way down the rest of the hill like that; Sami muttering occasional directions as to where Charlie ought to put his feet, Charlie holding on tight to his arm with a grateful expression. When they reached the bottom, he detached himself with a muttered thanks; they both continued on as if it had been the most ordinary thing in the world.

        It was in this way Diana saw that they carried on throughout the woodland trek; helping each other along with hands on shoulders and elbows and backs, each making sure the other would never fall.

        If Sameer might trip over a hidden branch in the undergrowth, Charlie would be the one to rush forward and catch him before he could topple over. If the fatigue Charlie tried to pretend he wasn’t suffering from began to catch up to him, Sameer would be the first one to notice and tell everyone that _he_ was tired and wanted to take a break. Previously, Diana had only seen Sameer acting as a caretaker for Charlie - now she saw more clearly that they really were caretakers for each other.

        They crossed back over the front lines that night, near what once was Veld. It made sense as a crossing point, given that they had seen the British take the German trenches there just days before. Still, Diana found herself feeling immensely grateful for the fall of night preventing any chance of even glimpsing the empty village.

        When they reached the British-occupied section of trench, all was quiet. Shelling could be heard in the far distance, but here there was no enemy to face. Chief went first to greet the entry guard, and managed to get them a lantern and keep them from being shot on sight. He led the way for their party through the trenches, towards the crossing point that had been set up to the old British trench.

        As they walked through single-file, the lantern light fell upon weary British soldiers sitting or leaning against the walls, trying to catch some sleep. Some stirred as the light hit their faces, glaring up at the disturbance. Then they saw Diana, her uncovered shield and armour glinting in the lamplight, and the glares faded, leaving something more like wonder in their eyes.

        As they passed one soldier, a man who looked more like a boy, his mouth fell open in shock. He reached out to the man next to him, shaking him by the shoulder to rouse him.

        Pointing up at their party, the boy whispered “Look, it’s her, she’s come back.”

        “Who has?” his friend said blearily.

        “The angel,” the boy replied in quiet awe, and they both gazed up at her as she passed, silent and wide-eyed.

        Diana knew what that word meant to these men. Though she was proud to have fought well, she could not help but wonder if she deserved this title.

        They crossed back to Chief’s little brush camp, safely behind British lines, and unanimously decided it was time to stop for the night. The whole party, even Diana, was nearly dead on their feet from exhaustion after two days of fighting, hiking, and no sleep. They set about re-lighting the campfire and setting up for the night.

        Chief dug about in his supplies and found a spare long coat for Diana to borrow, since her fur cape had been abandoned in the woods near High Command. She slipped it on and smiled gratefully, thanking him; while the chill didn’t much bother her, the feeling of the coat’s thick warm material against her skin was a sorely needed source of physical comfort. It had been such a very long day - it had been two days which felt like a lifetime.

        Charlie put down a bedroll near the growing fire and practically collapsed onto it almost immediately, only stopping to take off his rifle and his ammo belt - he was snoring softly within minutes.

        As Diana watched from a nearby log, Sameer stopped at Charlie’s feet to regard him for a moment, a soft and fond look in his eyes that only Diana could see. Walking over to the tent, Sameer retrieved two woolen blankets from one of the boxes. Returning to the fireside, he gently draped one blanket over Charlie, taking obvious care to tuck the edges in so that it covered him entirely and would not let in the cold. Charlie snored on, unaware.

        Satisfied with his work, Sameer turned away to set up his own bedroll nearby, closer to the fire. He nodded once to Diana and Chief by way of goodnight and lay down to sleep himself, blanket pulled up tight around his ears.

        All was quiet in camp as the night stretched on, the only sounds being those of field gun shelling miles away, and the men snoring softly. It seemed even Charlie was so deeply exhausted he would have no bad dreams tonight - surely a blessing after everything they’d just been through.

        As Chief tended the fire and checked over his gear, Diana fetched herself a blanket and bedroll, and laid down to sleep as well. For a while, she feared it would not come. She simply lay there feeling horribly wide awake, listening to the far-off thunder of guns and staring up at the multitude of unfamiliar stars, one thumb rubbing back and forth over the smooth face of a silent watch. Then, the next thing she knew, she was opening her eyes to another sunrise.

        After a small breakfast, they all helped Chief break down his camp and pack it away into hiding - he had decided he was coming with them back to England for a while. If this new armistice worked out and held, he said, he’d come back for the supplies later and sell them off - otherwise, he was ready to pick up right where he’d left off. But right now he needed a break - they all did.

        They made their way to the port before noon, where Chief managed to get them passage on a little boat in exchange for trading some of his goods. Before they arrived, Diana hid her tiara and her bracelets away beneath the long coat. She no longer fully trusted that some fool wouldn’t try to part her from them, and was not interested in taking part in any such fight today.

        While she stood back, listening to Chief chat with the boat’s captain, she found herself again watching Charlie and Sameer as they carried the bartered goods onboard. Sameer passed the boxes up from the wharf to Charlie, who stowed them on the deck of the boat.

        When all the supplies were finished, Charlie turned around to give Sameer his hand, helping him climb up onto the gunwale and then down onto the deck. It reminded Diana of how she had seen gentlemen helping ladies down from cars and carriages in London. She smiled to herself, doubting they would’ve appreciated her comparison, but finding it apt all the same.

        After the ship got underway across the Channel Charlie complained of feeling seasick, which had not happened on their journey there days before. Nausea, Chief quietly explained to Diana, was a part of alcohol withdrawals - Charlie hadn’t had a drink in nearly two days, and quitting came with a cost. He would have to deal with at least a week of tremors, insomnia, mood swings and fatigue, before he would be free and clear. Diana’s heart ached in sympathy.

        While Chief continued chatting with the captain for updates about the war and impending armistice, Diana sat on the deck and observed her friends. Poor Charlie hung over the railing for the entire voyage, staring miserably at the horizon and failing not to lose the meagre breakfast he’d had. Sameer stood patiently at his side the entire time, rubbing his back and murmuring comforting reassurances.

        When they disembarked in England, this time it was Sameer who offered Charlie a gentlemanly helping hand to climb down from the boat to the wharf. He sat close by Charlie’s side at the station while they waited for Chief to find them a train; one hand resting between his shoulder blades, his eyes hardly leaving Charlie’s pinched and tired face.

        On the train, they managed to secure a small four-person seating cabin; Charlie and Sameer sat to one side, Sameer nearest the window, while Diana sat across from him and Chief beside her.

        There was no conversation between them as the train got underway - Charlie wasn’t looking quite so ill anymore, but for everyone it was becoming harder and harder to keep pushing away the loss they had suffered, and it hung over the cabin in an oppressive grey fog.

        Chief seemed to decide to deal with the mood by ignoring it - he pulled his hat down low over his eyes and leaned back in his corner of the seat, apparently trying to catch up on sleep he’d lost to shifts standing guard the night before.

        Sameer in particular seemed to be suffering at the moment, his carefully-built facade chipping away to reveal deep, deep sadness. He sat with his back ramrod-straight and stared out the window at the countryside, his face schooled into a neutral expression - he was an excellent actor, but today it was his anguished eyes which gave him away.

        Diana could see that Charlie noticed it too, how he was looking at Sameer with sympathy and sorrow and a hint of something more. There was very little acting in Charlie’s expression at all - it was raw and open and aching.

        Discretely, he reached down with one trembling hand and took hold of Sameer’s where it lay on the seat between them, squeezing tight. Sameer didn’t look away from the window, but his drawn face and stiff posture softened just a little, some sadness fading from his eyes, and Charlie soon looked more at peace as well. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat to rest, exhausted, but didn’t let go of Sameer’s hand.

        In Diana’s mind a conversation had with Steve Trevor, from what felt like ages ago, suddenly floated to the surface of her memory.

_“Why are they holding hands?”_

_“Probably because they are together.”_

        With that, all the puzzle pieces she had been collecting for the last few days fell neatly into place:

        Charlie and Sameer must be a couple.

        Diana found herself smiling a little at the thought. _How sweet. They clearly love each other very much._ And even in her own feelings of grief over lost love, she couldn’t bring herself to be jealous of what they got to have - she could only feel happy for them, though a little wistful.

        She thought about saying something, perhaps offering belated congratulations, but it seemed that Charlie had already fallen asleep and Sami was deep in thought once again. She decided to keep this revelation to herself for now.

        So they sat in silence, and the train rolled steadily on.

* * *

        Days later, after peace had been signed and celebrated, and the dead properly mourned, they were all gathered for tea in the little conference room adjacent to Steve’s old office (now Etta’s for the time being).

        They’d just all had lunch together, and this was a sort of last gathering - Diana was leaving on the early morning train. She had decided to head west, and then further west still, across the sea. To see man’s world - her new world - and learn more about it, and about the new person she found herself becoming.

        The lunch had been good, and the conversation pleasant and easy, even in spite of their shared grief; perhaps because of it, and the fire-forged bonds of friendship they shared. Now, the tea was winding down, but the talk was still plentiful, and the mood was light and amicable.

        Etta and Chief were at one end of the table, casually debating some issue of politics related to the terms of the German surrender. Explanations were interjected for Diana’s benefit as she sat at Etta’s elbow, listening curiously - these earthly politics were still new to her.

        Across the table, Charlie and Sameer had been nodding along and on occasion, butting in with a thought. Most often though, Sameer would lean in to whisper some witty comment in Charlie’s ear, which would have him snickering into his cup of tea and muttering back a retort - their own little conspiracy of humour, adjacent to the more serious conversation.

        Charlie was finally coming down from the worst of his withdrawals, and while the dark circles of fading insomnia still hung about under his eyes, his colour was much better, and he seemed healthier, more solid than Diana had seen him yet.

        Now, he threw his head back laughing loudly at something Sameer had said, earning an eye roll from Etta which was ignored. Beside him, Sameer’s eyes crinkled with mirth at the reaction he’d garnered - he really did seem to take joy in making Charlie laugh.

        As Charlie grew steadier and stronger, in turn Sameer had become lighter, less distressed somehow, even as they mourned for Steve. It looked like a weight slowly lifting from his chest, giving him room to breathe again. Diana supposed this was a time of recovery for him as well.

        She found herself once again watching the two of them with a slightly wistful smile.

        “How long is it you have been together?” she asked them, after a moment.

        They both looked up. It was Sameer who answered her, his brow furrowed in slight confusion.

        “Charlie and I have been working together since the early months of the war, usually on teams that Steve put together. In fact, that is essentially how we all met.” he gestured around the table to his friends.

        “That is very nice,” Diana said, smiling, “I am sure you must all be glad he brought you together. But what I meant was, how long have the two of you been married?”

        Her innocent question brought all conversation to a screeching halt.

        Charlie startled violently, sputtering and wheezing as he accidentally inhaled and coughed out half his cup of tea. Sameer’s eyebrows shot up, and all colour drained from his slack-jawed face. Etta and Chief turned to Diana in silent shock, Etta’s mouth hanging wide open.

        “What?” Diana said, looking around and utterly confused at their reactions. Even if she had been mistaken, and they were only very close friends, surely it didn’t warrant this level of shock for her to ask such an innocent question. Had she overstepped some unknown human social boundary? What was going on?

        “Erm,” Etta said, first to regain something like composure and break an increasingly awkward silence, “Diana, can I speak to you? In the hall? Now. Please.”

        Diana was deeply confused now, but she followed Etta’s lead as she got up from the table and headed for the door, determined to get answers.

        She glanced hesitantly back to the table, at Sameer with his blank-faced pallor, deliberately not looking at Charlie, who was red-faced with embarrassment after finishing expelling the tea from his lungs, and deliberately not looking at Sameer. And there was Chief, who stared helplessly after Etta and Diana with a trapped sort of expression, and said hurriedly “I’d better come with you!” He all but leapt up to follow them out, shutting the door behind them.

        Etta led the way down the hall to another conference room, and checking that it was empty and unused, ushered the two of them inside. She gestured for Diana to sit down, and pulled up a chair across from her. Chief leaned up against the wall behind Etta, arms crossed.

        Diana was still very bewildered as to exactly what sort of strange human custom she was taking part in here.

        “I am sorry,” she said, “I do not understand what is going on.”

        “Diana,” Etta said, voice diplomatic, “there are some things about... human... society, of which I realize you may not yet be aware, given you’ve only been with us just over a week. You remember, of course, our conversation about equal rights for women?”

        “Of course,” Diana said bitterly, frowning at the thought, “women are not afforded equal treatment to men in your society.”

        “Well, as I’m sure you must have noticed, this dynamic applies to other things as well.” Etta said, “Such as, for example, racial divisions,” Diana nodded, having surmised as much, “and, um... relations, if you will, between members of the same sex.”

        “Wait- are you saying that two men or women cannot even _get_ married here?!” Diana said, struggling to keep her voice down in her shock and outrage. Etta nodded in confirmation.

        “Technically, in most countries it’s illegal for two men to even have that kind of relationship.” Chief interjected from his place at the wall.

        “Perfectly legal for women here though, since god forbid anyone acknowledge we have our own wants and desires.” Etta muttered, rolling her eyes.

        “This is outrageous!” Diana shouted, standing from the table as Etta tried in vain to shush her, “It is completely unfair!” Was there no end to the ways in which the world of man could let her down?

        “You know what, I honestly agree with you, we both do, but Diana you cannot just go around _saying_ things like that!” Etta said, nervously eyeing the door.

        “And why not? Why? Why would _anyone_ make laws against love?!” Diana demanded, furious and uncomprehending.

        “Because...” Etta tried and failed to find a reason that Diana would accept, “because the world just isn’t ready for it yet.”

       Diana’s righteous burning fury suddenly turned to the bitter cold of disappointment in her veins. “It seems there are a great many things your world is not ready for.” she spat, moving towards the door.

        “Diana wait!” Etta exclaimed, “There’s still more I need to tell you! About Sameer and Charlie!”

       Diana stopped, her hand reaching for the doorknob. She counted down from ten in Ancient Greek in her head, took a deep calming breath, and spun around to face her friends, arms crossed. Her deep dissatisfaction and impatience must have shown on her face, because Etta flinched back ever so slightly under her gaze.

        “I am listening.” Diana said.

        “You need to understand,” Etta said, “Charlie and Sameer... they’re not together. Not in that way.”

       Diana scoffed. “Pssh! Have you _seen_ them?! They are likely keeping it a secret, if what he says about your backwards laws is true!” she gestured at Chief, who cringed slightly and looked like he regretted being there, and also coming to England, and possibly also being born.

        “I _know_ that they aren’t, I can promise you! I swear.” Etta said, a little desperate.

        “How?” Diana demanded, “How could you possibly know, hmm?”

        “Because- agh!” Etta buried her face in her hands for a moment, then sat up, rubbing at her temples, “look, I really _really_ shouldn’t tell either of you this, because I really _really_ gave my word not to, but...” she sighed heavily, “Sameer told me three months ago that he’s in love with Charlie; but he knows Charlie doesn’t feel the same way.”

        “What?!” exclaimed Diana and Chief in unison.

        “Hang on a minute,” Chief said, pushing off the wall and walking over to the table, “Sameer told you that?”

        “Yes,” Etta said, nodding at him over her shoulder with an expression that said she thought he was being rather unusually dense, “that is in fact exactly what I just said.”

        “Well- Charlie said the exact same thing to me four months ago, about Sameer!” he said, bewildered.

        “What?!” Etta and Diana exclaimed.

        “He was _really_ drunk, we were the only ones around, and it just sort of slipped out; he made me swear not to tell anyone either!” Chief said.

        “Oh my word,” Etta sighed, leaning back in her chair and massaging her temples, “I cannot bloody well believe this.”

        “Hold on,” Diana said, cautiously, “are you sure they could not have gotten together since then, and simply not told anyone? The way I saw them acting...”

        “Oh,” Etta said, “you mean the whole casually-intimate, touchy-feely, joined-at-the-hip thing? Oh no, that’s not new; they’ve literally always been like that.”

        “And none of you noticed???” Diana exclaimed.

        “I noticed!” Etta said, “I just assumed they were really close friends, you know? Although, I will admit that in hindsight, it does look less like that, and an awful lot more like ‘idiots who don’t even realize they’ve fallen in love’.” She sighed. All was quiet for a moment.

        “So, what happens now?” Diana said, breaking the silence. “Am I expected to go back there and what, apologize?” She didn’t entirely see why she should.

        “Oh, god!” Etta blurted out suddenly, drawing everyone’s attention to her.

        “What?” Chief asked, confused.

        “What is it?” Diana said.

        “Don’t you realize what we’ve just done?” Etta said, looking up at them beseechingly, “We’ve made each of them think his biggest secret’s been revealed, and then we just... left them back there. Together. Alone.”

        Diana and Chief shared a look of dawning realization.

       “This could be very bad.” Chief said, slowly.

       “Perhaps,” Diana said, tilting her head and thinking it over, “or perhaps it could be exactly what they need.”

* * *

       In the other conference room by Etta’s office, silence hung oppressive over the table from the moment Chief shut the door.

       Charlie stared very deliberately up at the ceiling, silently wishing that God might have mercy and strike him down where he sat. Beside him, Sami gazed steadfastly into the depths of the table, chin resting in his hand. They were both very careful not to so much as glance at each other.

       It was Charlie who finally broke the quiet.

       “Did that really just happen?” he said to the ceiling, sounding as stunned as he felt.

       “Funny,” Sami muttered into his hand, staring down so intently he could be counting grains in the hardwood tabletop, “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

       That broke Charlie out of his frozen state, a weak chuckle escaping him as he dragged a tired hand over his face. Pushing back his chair, he got up and began to pace the length of the room, hoping it might make him feel a little calmer. It didn’t.

       “Well, I mean it must be some kinda Amazonian cultural mixup, yeah?” he said, trying to project an air of certainty and nonchalance. He laughed nervously. “Why, she doesn’t even know tha’ two men cannae get married!” It felt the stress of this all may simply kill him, but perhaps he could still play this off as a mistake.

       “Hm,” Sami hummed, still looking at his abandoned teacup like it had the answers to the universe.

       “I mean, it’s not as if we _act_ like we’re madly in love, right? We’re just- it’s just- well, you’re my best friend!” Charlie said, a little helplessly, running a hand through his hair and pacing faster, the other hand waving erratically through the air. He should almost certainly stop talking - every word was digging his own grave a little deeper. He felt like he’d been dunked in ice water - panicked and shivering, adrift and at a loss for what to do.

       He’d thought he was being subtle enough - taking and giving scraps of physical comfort where he could, selfishly seeking out the warmth brought by Sami’s touch but never straying too close to the flame. Almost five years of keeping his feelings a secret, suffering alone in silence; and Diana had seen right through him in just a few days.

        Perhaps he’d let his guard down, slipped up somewhere along the way; like when he’d accidentally told Chief. Perhaps it had been that impulsive hug at the airfield, or taking his hand on the train. It didn’t really matter - somehow, she knew, and Sami was simply too smart not to have put the pieces together by now too.

       Charlie didn’t know where they’d go from here, him and Sami, with this truth laid out between them. That new element of uncertainty in their steadfast friendship scared him to death - this was exactly what he hadn’t wanted. This was exactly why he had lied.

       As Charlie had this silent, pacing crisis, Sami remained still as stone in his chair, terrifyingly unreadable.

        _Fucking hell,_ Charlie thought, distraught, _he knows, he knows and now he won’t even look at me._ He tried to take calming breaths, to slow down the spiral of panic. He just found himself pacing faster, like someone trying to keep warm in the snow; unable to stop himself from further thinking out loud.

       “What I really don’t get is, where in the bloody hell she would get the notion that we _both_ were...“ Charlie trailed off and slowed his pacing to a stop, as sudden realization dawned. Diana had not concluded that he was just a lonely pining bastard - no, she had assumed they were married. She’d been correct in deducing that he loved Sameer, so if she had decided from watching them that Sami was in love with him too...

       Charlie whirled around to look across the room at Sami, who had finally turned to look at him. There was something like awe on his face, and a spark of hope in his eyes.

       Now it was Charlie who was frozen in place, hundreds of moments shared between them flashing back through his mind in a new light. The silence in the room felt impossibly tense, charged like the air before a thunderstorm.

       Charlie swallowed hard and summoned his courage, forcing himself to try and go on, to get the words out. “...‘Cos that would mean... it’d mean that...”

       “...that you’ve suffered just as I have, all this time.” Sami finished for him, his voice shaking but his face brave and his eyes full of fire. “That you feel the same.”

       Charlie nodded, his gaze never leaving Sami’s.

       “Yes,” he smiled weakly, voice rough and ragged, “God bloody help me, yes I do.”

       Sami stood abruptly, chair clattering backwards to the floor. There was a fierce determination in his eyes as he rushed across the room to take Charlie’s face in his hands and pull him into a kiss, urgent and passionate and desperate as if Sami just couldn’t bear not kissing him for even a moment more. The thunderstorm tension broke like a tripwire - like lightning had struck at last and sent the whole room up in warm, wonderful flames.

       Charlie let his eyes fall shut, melting into Sami’s touch with a sigh. All the anxiety, all the icy loneliness and fear he’d been holding inside fell away at last; leaving behind only relief, and joy, and love. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss - it all felt like coming home.

        _Finally._

       He moved both hands to grip Sami’s hips, tugging him close as Sami wrapped both arms around his neck and buried a hand in his hair, curving against him head to toe as if he simply couldn’t get close enough. Mindful of the toppled chair, Charlie gently pushed Sami backwards across the room until his thighs hit the edge of the table, rattling the discarded chinaware.

       Sami hummed in approval, pushing off the table to press even closer, parting his lips to deepen the kiss and draw a faint moan of appreciation from Charlie’s throat. There was no nervousness or trepidation to their movements - it all felt wonderfully easy, as if they had really been doing this for years instead of just wishing they could.

       Suddenly, Sami broke away and pushed back a few inches, both of them breathing hard. Charlie’s heart was racing like a wild thing in his chest - never had he felt so utterly, completely alive.

       They regarded each other like that for a moment, catching their breath and taking in the sights. Charlie was sure he looked a wreck, and Sami’s cheeks were flushed, curly hair a little disheveled and his lips red and swollen where Charlie had been kissing them. _I did that. This is real. He really kissed me._  Just that thought made Charlie giddy, lightheaded and foolishly happy, any old pretences to toughness fully forgotten - the idea that Sami might kiss him _again_  made him weak in the knees.

       Sami’s expression was fond, but there was a determined, serious furrow to his brow. One hand shifted to cup the line of Charlie’s jaw, thumb brushing across his cheek with a gentleness that felt almost reverent.

       “I love you,” Sami whispered, and Charlie’s heart skipped a beat, “Not just as a fancy, and not just as a fling; I want that to be absolutely clear. I mean I really, really love you, Charlie. I have for... such a very long time.” For a moment, his wide brown eyes clouded over with the wistful sadness years of wanting could bring; but then, the brightness of the joy of having came rushing back in, and he gave Charlie a shining smile.

       Charlie grinned, feeling like he’d just been handed the sun.

       “I can sure see tha’ you do,” he whispered teasingly, grinning wider when Sami narrowed his eyes, “you dinnae need to worry though, darlin’ - I love you too.”

       He tried to move in for another kiss, but Sami stopped him short, lips pursed and brows pinched in thought.

       “So, if we actually could-” Sami murmured, then gave a self-deprecating half-laugh and a sigh, “oh _merde_ , this is going to sound very very foolish - but Charlie, if we could... _would_ you marry me?”

       Charlie smiled, a slightly bittersweet but very truly happy thing. “In a heartbeat,” he whispered, and leaned in to seal it with a kiss.

* * *

       In the hallway, Etta and Chief stood back and tried to look inconspicuous as Diana listened with one ear pressed against the conference room door. After a moment, she straightened up and turned to them, shaking her head.

       “We should not go in.” she said.

        “Really?” Etta said, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

        “Really.” Diana said, nodding solemnly. “In fact...” she glanced at the door, then back to Etta, “can this door be unlocked from the inside?”

        “Yes...?” Etta said slowly, confused.

        “Do you have your key with you?”

        “Yes...?” Etta said, fishing it out of her pocket and holding it up to show.

        “Lock it.” Diana said, with a devious smile and wink. At that, she turned and started off down the hall.

        “Oh.” Etta said, glancing back at Chief, who looked equally as stunned as she was. She turned back to the door, and heard the faint sound of chinaware rattling inside. Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh my.” She hurriedly reached forward to lock it, and stepped back quick, very deliberately not listening anymore.

        “Come!” Diana called from down the hall, grinning over her shoulder at them in a way Etta found a bit frightening, “let us go have drinks - you can tell me all about those regressive laws of your ‘modern’ society.”

        Etta heard Chief chuckle quietly behind her.

        “That woman,” he said as they began to walk, “she is truly a wonder.”

       Etta couldn’t help but agree.

**Author's Note:**

> How many jokes/references can I make to the title of this movie, you ask? Tons, absolute tons. Also, you cannot tell me that Etta Candy of all people wouldn’t have a dress with pockets, even in 1918. Girl has her shit together in ways I can only dream about.
> 
> Hope you liked it! A few factoids: all of those symptoms of alcohol withdrawal are real, and the timeline is pretty much accurate: symptoms don’t come in until 8 hours after the last drink - it is nasty stuff. Also, Charlie quitting booze after the Battle of Veld is a true canon fact: he’s never shown drinking alcohol again after that, and in the “Etta’s Mission” bonus scene, he’s shown to have kicked the drink entirely in favour of camomile tea instead! I’m so proud of him :’)
> 
> If you liked this, let me know - kudos and comments are the fuel that lights the fires of my soul (more or less)! Also, there are three more fics for this pairing rn, and I wrote 2 of them, so feel free to check those all out!


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